this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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