I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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