I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The best revenge is premature balding
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
