Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
