i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
