so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
