he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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