I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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