I think my fart just growled at me.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Randomize
