and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
