But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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