Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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