After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
