My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
