Old men and throwing up are my life now.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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