smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
