how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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