i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
