Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
