This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
