if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
