Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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