In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
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