In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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