you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
