she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
