Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
