i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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