all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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