real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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