I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
