There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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