Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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