# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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