so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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