And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
