im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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