I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
