Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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