that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Send help, water and tortillas.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
