Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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