i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
