his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
