It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
