yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
