I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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