And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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