There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
