Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
