she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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