note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
