If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
