So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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